I had a conversation with my sister yesterday and I mentioned something from the Oprah show and my sister said, “You’re becoming like those stay-at-home moms watching Oprah. Soon, you’ll go to PTO meetings, volunteer at Kida’s school, taking her to soccer practice.” and she kind of giggled about it like it was looked down upon. In her eyes, I was becoming someone who watches Oprah everyday. Someone who runs around the house chasing after babies, changing diapers, feeding, taking the kids to soccer practice, PTO meetings, cooking, cleaning the dishes, doing the laundry. Someone who has dinner all set and ready for the husband.
How funny. I mentioned watching Oprah and suddenly I am one of those stay-at-home moms as defined above. In defense I mentioned that I don’t watch Oprah every day. If the show is interesting, yes. If not, no. I watch Ellen more. But, I watch AC360 on CNN, HLN, Nancy Grace, and other shows on CNN with my husband (because we debate and share opinions about current events) just about every night. Her response to my defense was, “Give it 5 years and you’ll do all those things.” I just said, “It’s never going to happen. I’m not like that.” And, not because I refuse or don’t want to. I’ve tried but that’s just not me and I’m not going to pretend just to get into the “group”.
So, what is a stay-at-home/soccer mom defined as? Is there a definition? I searched Google and found this definition for a stay-at-home mom:
“Some women choose to become stay-at-home mothers because they simply find the work satisfying. Others do so because it is easier, less expensive, or more convenient than hiring a babysitter or a nanny
. Other families have enough income from one parent that the other does not have to work, and instead chooses to stay home with the children.” Ref: ehow.com
and this definition for a soccer mom:
“The phrase soccer mom generally refers to a married middle-class woman who lives in the suburbs and has school age children. She is sometimes portrayed in the media as busy or overburdened and driving a minivan. She is also portrayed as putting the interests of her family, and most importantly her children, ahead of her own.” Ref: http://en.wikipedia.org
I admit, I am a stay-at-home mom and very proud of it for the most part. I don’t work outside of the house and I chose to stay home to care for my two children because financially, I can. As for being a soccer mom. NO. I am not and will never be. The word soccer makes me cringe. BIG TIME. I am also not over burdened. In fact, I have enough time to do whatever I want to do.
The house work is shared equally between husband and I. Most times, it’s a mess and but it gets cleaned and that’s just how it is with kids. We also share caring for our girls equally. Although, husband does tend to do a lot more but he wants to.
I also don’t drive a mini van but it’s because my Camry does the job.
I don’t have anything against the stereotype stay-at-home moms or those soccer moms. But, there are other moms out there who don’t fit the stereotype. I would trade staying home to work outside the home again. I’d like to work not because I want the money. I’m just made to be outside the home. I struggle with being home every day, all day. I even struggle with taking the girls to the park or even to the pool for a swim. The thing is I’m home because I can stay home and most importantly, I don’t trust anyone else to watch my girls except me and maybe a few others.
I don’t try to be someone else. I am just letting my heart decide and it’s decided that the well being of my family tromps everything else…aside from my well being and personal growth.
So, what would one call someone like me? A typical stay-at-home mom? SURE. Why not. If going to PTO meetings, volunteering, taking my girls to swimming lesson, guitar lessons, and voice lessons makes me one then so be it. As far as watching Oprah goes. During high school and undergrad school, I watched her a lot more than I do today. It’s too bad that my sister is making Oprah out to be something stay-at-home moms watch. I never thought of Oprah that way.
♥